


Blinding Lights

by winterswitcher



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Absent Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Babysitting, Billy Hargrove is His Own Warning, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Mutual Pining, Original Character-centric, Parent Death, Possession, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Swearing, Teen Romance, Teenage Dorks, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24452383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterswitcher/pseuds/winterswitcher
Summary: ELIZABETH RICHARDS WAS, at least in her opinion, a damn good babysitter. It was a service she put a lot of blood, sweat and and tears into, though she loved them anyways. And the four boys she so loyally watched over agreed, she was cool as hell (of course, it could've been that she went along with their shenanigans, but REALLY, it wasn't her fault.) She didn't really have much else. She didn't need much else. Dealt a shitty hand of cards, she does her best with what she was given. Which was, more or less, a handful of mommy issues, the title of social pariah, and a huge crush on the only friend she had. It was safe to say she was totally screwed.STEVE HARRINGTON WAS a raging asshole. Elizabeth hated his guts. Pretty boy, star athlete, a heart breaker. He had everything he could want; attention, popularity — Nancy Wheeler. There was no knocking him from the high horse he rode with a crown. But then Will Byers goes missing on an unsuspecting November night. As the party of outcasts frantically search for answers, they uncover the deadly secrets kept from their small town. Caught in the middle of it all, Elizabeth Richards and Steve Harrington come together as unlikely allies — but she really doesn't like him. Really.
Relationships: Nancy Wheeler/Original Male Character(s), Robin Buckley/Original Female Character(s), Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s), Will Byers/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. and everything changes

**ACT I** — **EDGE OF NIGHT**

 **chapter one,** and everything changes

**ELIZABETH**

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟼𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚁 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴

 **IT WAS A NORMAL NIGHT. IN A LAZY TOWN CALLED HAWKINS** , where nothing ever happens, the wind blew gently through the trees as darkness took over. Outside, sprinklers showered upon expensive lawns, crickets filling the nighttime with light sound. There was a big normal house, with a big normal family inside. The basement downstairs was littered with empty soda cans and pizza boxes, backpacks strewn messily across the room and the old couch worn with patches. Surrounding a small table was a party of five — four young boys and a girl five years their senior — it was _The_ Party. They were perfectly normal too... well, for the most part.

"Do you hear that? Listen..." One of the young boys says, leaning in towards the others with anticipation. Before them, spread out across the table, was a Dungeons and Dragons grid map with the corresponding manual open to the right page beside it. Several figures lay across the map, a Wizard, a Knight, an Elf. "Something is coming... something hungry for blood."

The others hold their breaths as he mysteriously regards them. "A shadow grows on the wall behind you." The Dungeon Master, Mike Wheeler, peers at them from beneath a flop of dark hair, with equally dark eyes. His words of warning send shivers of fright up the older girl's spine. "It swallows you in darkness... it is almost here."

"What is it?" The smallest of them asks, a tinge of excitement in his voice. Will Byers — the Wizard among them — gulps as Mike still holds on to what was coming.

"What if it's the Demogorgon?" Dustin Henderson, another among them, wonders with fear. Curly hair peeks out from beneath a cap, the small ends bouncing as he moved. "We're screwed if it's the Demogorgon."

The last — Lucas Sinclair — rolls his eyes, though his hands gripped tightly onto the edge of the table. "It's not the Demogorgon."

The older girl's mouth curls at the corners. She was only seventeen, with chipped painted nails and messy chocolate bangs that fell over hazel eyes. Clad in a jean jacket, Elizabeth Richards sits forward with her elbows on the table, resting her chin on entwined hands. "Yeah, don't be a dipshit. It's probably a Thessalhydra or something."

Her grin grows as they begin to argue against her, wagging her eyebrows when Mike looks to her exasperatedly. He waits for them to end their bickering before finally banging a fist onto the table. "An army of Troglodytes charges into the chamber!" He shouts, slamming six figurines onto the map. "Their tails drum the floor! _Boom! Boom! BOOM!"_

"T-Troglodytes?"

Lucas smugly smiles. "Told ya."

Dustin scoffs as Mike looks over his shoulder, eyes growing wide. "Wait! Do you hear that? Boom! Boom! Boom! That sound... it didn't come from the Troglodytes. No... It came from something else..."

Elizabeth erupts into laughter as their hands beat to the tune of a drum against the map, eyes blown wide as they waited with more suspense than ever before. She watches fondly as they lean closer... and closer...

Mike slams another figurine down on the table with a shout, "The Demogorgon!"

"Aw, Mikey!" She complains, eating her words as she reaches across the table to punch his arm. "We're in deep shit, now!"

"Will!" He turns to the Wizard expectantly, urging him forward. "Your action?"

The said boy hesitates. "I- I don't know — "

"Fireball him!" Lucas exclaims, delighted at the thought.

Elizabeth hums thoughtfully, tapping a finger to her chin. "He'd have to roll a thirteen or higher — "

"Too risky." Dustin shakes his head. "Cast a protection spell — "

"Don't be a pussy!" Lucas cries out, throwing his hands in the air. "Fireball him!"

"Protection spell!"

"The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!" Mike interrupts the debate, drumming his feet loudly on the floor. "It stomps towards you! _Boom! Boom! BOOM!"_

Elizabeth grips the boys' shoulder, shaking it lightly as they all begin to shout over one another. "Quick, Will, do something or we're screwed!"

"Fireball him!"

"Another step! _Boom_!"

"Cast protection!"

"It roars in anger — "

"Will!"

"Fireball!"

"Protection!"

Will takes the dice. "Fireball!" He rolls them too hard and they fly across the room, scattering to the other side of the basement. "What is it?"

"I don't know!"

"Is it a thirteen?"

"I don't _know_!"

The boys scramble out of their seats and Elizabeth watches on, chuckles escaping her mouth as they frantically search for the number it landed on. Just as they reached the dice, the basement door swung open with a loud thud, revealing Mrs. Wheeler on the other side with her arms crossed. "Mom!" Mike whines. "We're in the middle of a campaign — "

"I think you mean the end." Karen Wheeler taps her watch. "Fifteen after."

Mike chases after his mother to protest and Elizabeth snorts, standing to sling a backpack over her shoulder and twirling a set of keys around her index finger. "C'mon, nerds. Get your shit together and get ready to go."

"But Lizzy — "

"You heard Mrs. Wheeler."

They collectively groan and set about packing their things with great reluctance. "Does the seven count?" Will asks curiously, looking to his friends.

"Shit." Dustin swears. "It was a seven?"

Will nods and Lucas questions him with a huff. "Did Mike see it?"

He shrugs. "I don't think so."

"Then it doesn't count."

As they zip their backpacks, Elizabeth glances to them with amusement as she rocks back and forth on her heels, grinning from ear to ear. "You guys want a ride home?"

Dustin returns her cheek, showing off his toothless smile. "No thanks, Lizzy. Wouldn't wanna get caught with a loser."

"You wound me, Dust." She places a hand over her heart in faux hurt before looking to the other boys. "What about you?"

Lucas shakes his head in the negative and Will gives her a soft smile. "We're good, Liz."

"Alright."

The boys race up the stairs, stopping for a moment as Dustin holds up a pizza box. "Anyone want this?" The three shake their heads in unison and he looks to the box with contemplation before rushing up the stairs. Elizabeth pushes the others out of the basement and to the garage, watching as they readied their bikes.

It was a routine she'd been a part of for years, four to be exact. Elizabeth was the boys' loyal babysitter, and had been a part of DnD night since it's creation all those years ago. It was easy for her to take the place of their Elven Fighter, and she never once missed a campaign night.

No — Elizabeth wouldn't miss it for the world.

Mike soon joins them, followed by Dustin, who slams the garage door shut behind him and makes a face to the former. "Something's wrong with your sister."

"What're you talking about?"

"She's got a stick up her butt — "

Elizabeth snickers, rolling her eyes to the starry night sky. "She's always got a stick up her ass."

"It's cause she's seeing that barf bag, Steve Harrington." Lucas replies, causing her to wrinkle her nose with distaste, stick her tongue out and point a finger down her throat with a dramatic gag. He chortles, the two sharing a fist-bump over the joke.

"Yeah, she's turning into a real jerk."

"She's always been a real jerk."

Elizabeth hums in agreement. It was her opinion that Nancy Wheeler — Mike's older sister — was a priss. The Golden Girl, the one who had everything. Once upon a time the two had been good friends when they were kids, but High School came along and suddenly Nancy didn't want to talk to Elizabeth anymore.

Sometimes it made her sad. But mostly it was just annoying.

"Nuh huh." Dustin shakes his head. "She used to be cool. Like that time she dressed up as an Elf with Lizzy for our Eldertree campaign — "

"Four years ago!"

"Just sayin'." Dustin shrugs, before twisting his chin up to Elizabeth. "You'll always be cool, right?"

She turns him incredulously, appalled and offended at such a question. "Of course I'll always be cool! Who do you think I am?"

"Good. We couldn't hang out if you weren't."

Elizabeth scoffs in return but grins nonetheless, waving them off on their bikes. "Get out of here, shit heads. I'll see you tomorrow after school."

Lucas and Dustin ride out of the garage, and Will lingers behind next to Mike. "It was a seven."

Mike looks at him in confusion. "What?"

"The roll. It was a seven. The Demogorgon got me." Will shrugs. "See you tomorrow."

"Be safe, kid."

Will gives them one last smile and rides after his friends. The lights in the garage flicker, followed by a buzzing sound, causing Mike and Elizabeth to look at each other in confusion. The former frowns. "That was weird."

Elizabeth nods before ruffling his hair affectionately. "I'm gonna dip out, Mikey. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Lizzy."

Elizabeth walks to her car — an old 1970 _Honda Civic_ — and climbs onto the old leather of the front seat. It was cold on the back of her thighs, the November air suggesting snow soon. As the heater kicks in, she reaches into the pocket of her jean jacket and takes out a pack of cigarettes, expertly lighting one end with a blue _Bic_ lighter that had her first initial scratched into it. Puffs of smoke escape her lips as Elizabeth puts the Honda into reverse, pulling out of the Wheeler's driveway and taking off down the street. Her fingers reach for the stereo, pressing play on the tape already inside. She mouths the lyrics to _Led Zeppelin_ , the music drowning out the sound of a pair of dog tags clanging together at every turn.

But it wasn't loud enough so that she couldn't hear it. Her eyes wander to the rear-view mirror where they dangle, feeling the same sour tug at her stomach whenever she looked at them. She drove farther and farther from the nice, normal neighborhood and became lost in her thoughts of them.

It was easy for Elizabeth to get stuck inside her own head. It was easy for her to dwell on bad things when she was all alone — with no distractions to stop her. It was why she liked babysitting the Party so much... It was the perfect way to avoid all her problems.

She looks to the dog tags again and sighs. Though they were old, she could still see the worn out name etched onto them, making her heart beat just a little faster — a little sadder, a little more fondly. They had belonged to her father, Thomas. The key word being _had_. He died some odd years ago, but Elizabeth couldn't exactly remember when. The days eventually started to blur together, but if she had to guess on the spot — it had been ten years since he left for Vietnam and never came back.

It had been ten years since the last time her mother smiled.

Soon enough, she turns onto the familiar road towards home. It wasn't really a home, by any standards, just a small trailer in the shady trailer park just on city-limits. But it was hers, something she worked hard for — it was the best home to have.

Though sometimes the hard work never seemed worth it. Especially now, as she pulls into the sight of flashing blue and red lights. A string of curses leave her lips at the sign painting the door — _HAWKINS POLICE DEPT._

"Son of a — " Parking the car, she grunts with annoyance as she walks up the steps to her front door, meeting the Chief of Police himself there. A figure hung on his arm, making her sigh as she fumbled with the keys. It swings open with a bang, and she gestures inside with sudden exhaustion. "Just put her — "

" — On the sofa. I know the drill, kid." He sets the figure down, incoherent mumbling falling from their lips before passing out cold. Elizabeth pulls a blanket over them and lets out another long sigh. There lay her mom, Michelle Richards, in all her drunken glory. This was another routine Elizabeth was used to, another scene.

It played out the exact same, unlike a Dungeon's session, where choices and options made anything seem possible. No, here, it was the same: come home, put mom to bed, and deal with the fallout. It was the fallout she hated the most, it made her feel weary — cold.

She turns the lights off and follows the Chief back outside, and stands with him for a moment in silence. Lights began to flash on and off all around them, including the front porch light of the motor-home. Elizabeth can hear the same buzzing sound that came from Mike's garage and frowns in confusion.

"Alright, Richards?" He asks, mistaking her frown for something else. He pulls a cigarette from his pocket and she motions over to him for one, smirking lightly when he relents with a gruff hmph. He'd always had a hard time telling her no.

Elizabeth takes a long drag and looks over to the Chief. Since his return to Hawkins five years ago, she had become very familiar — no, close — with Jim Hopper. They understood each other, in a strange way. He looked out for her, for reasons she never understood, and she felt she had someone to go to for all the bullshit. They shared a lot of bullshit too — grief, anger, hardtimes. Elizabeth would be lost without him.

"Yeah, Hop." She tries for a smile and fails spectacularly. "I'm fine."

He dubiously raises an eyebrow but changes the subject. He was good at reading when she would or wouldn't talk. "Electricity is acting up, I see."

Elizabeth nods, looking towards the light that still flickered. "Not just here." She says lightly. "The Wheeler's house was doing this too."

"Weird."

Elizabeth merely hums in agreement and the pair go silent once again. Together they finish their cigarettes and Hopper spares her another glance. "I gotta go, kid."

She nods and he squeezes her shoulder before going to his car. Elizabeth watches him drive away, the Chevy becoming a small spot in the distance.

With great reluctance, she sulks back inside, sparing her mother a tired glance. She sees a stack of bills on the kitchen table — she needs to pay those soon, she notes — and an empty jar where saved money had once been. This happened sometimes, she'd come home to drunken snores and missing money. Another jolt of that same weariness. She doesn't bother undressing, collapsing on an old bed in the back that smelled like even older whiskey.

And she falls asleep to the sight of the lights flickering outside.

**. . .**

𝙼𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟽𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝙷𝙰𝚆𝙺𝙸𝙽𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻

**HERE WAS THE THING: ELIZABETH WAS USED TO CHANGE**. It didn't scare her anymore, and it didn't make her nervous. All her life things had been unstable — she learned at a young age how to adapt and fend for herself.

When Thomas Richards died, Elizabeth didn't notice the change, not at first. She was too young to. But she did notice how Michelle, a nurse in her time, began to work more. Drilling herself into the ground to pay the bills, to avoid going home to a cold and empty house. Elizabeth didn't see her mother very often after the funeral.

But as she got a little older, she noticed other things. The smell of booze and sweat, the angry outbursts and the sting of a palm meeting the bare skin of her cheek. She noticed the late-fees sitting on the table, and how the hot water didn't work sometimes. And when she was nine — she realized that change was truly inevitable. It fell on her to take care of things, to drill herself into the ground and pay the bills... to be the adult.

Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the only one who saw it.

Kids had always been mean. Elizabeth was one of the nerdy ones who wore braces until she was fourteen and brought her limited edition _Star Wars_ lunch box to school. She was practically asking for it. And when Elizabeth began to show up to school with dirty clothes and greasy hair, a little too skinny and a little too pale, they saw that too.

It was open season.

But Thomas taught his daughter that words didn't matter in the end. Sometimes she remembered that — she didn't care. " _Those assholes aren't worth your tears, Lizzy Bear._ " Others... It was hard to face the day. And after a particular incident in the ninth grade, it only made it all the more unbearable — they never missed a chance to call her Loosey Lizzy.

It was kind of why she totally hated high school. Not even the actual school part — she loved going to class and doing work. She hated the gossip and the way rumors stuck to her like glue, some true, some not. She never bothered to do anything about it, not anymore.

Elizabeth was sitting in the back of the English Literature classroom, chewing on the tip of her pencil. Her attention was barely there, fingers twiddling with the buttons on her bag as she stared unseeingly at the blackboard. She was bothered. Her best, and admittedly only, friend Jonathan Byers (who was also Will's older brother, which was how she met him and the others) hadn't shown up for any classes. It wasn't unusual for him to miss a day, but he always told her first, and a terrible feeling was settling in her gut as the clock ticked on and he still hadn't shown.

The classroom door opens, startling her from her thoughts and revealing the Principal and someone she wasn't expecting to see on the other side. Jim Hopper seemed incredibly uncomfortable standing there as the former called her out of class, a very troubled frown making his mustache twitch.

Several scenarios ran through her head all at once. She thought of her mother — who must've gotten into some kind of trouble, or Jonathan — who had been missing all day. Elizabeth scrambles out of her seat with heart pounding anxiety, her ponytail getting caught on her bag as it was flung over her shoulder. In her rush, she trips over her feet and lands face-first into someone else's desk, pain shooting up her nose. The class erupts into laughter, but the chuckles coming from just in front of her stood out the most. With an annoyed huff, she straightens herself up to face the person who's snide snickers twisted up her insides — she loathed him.

Steve Harrington was, in Elizabeth's opinion, the third biggest asshole she'd ever met. Hawkins was a small town, so a lot of people grew up together — literally. She and Steve had gone to the same school all their lives, and there was never a time she couldn't remember him being a total douche bag. He was mean, and somehow made a habit of breaking hearts with nice hair and honey brown eyes. But she never saw the appeal, Steve was a dick, and never stopped his equally dick-ish friends — Tommy and Carol, the reigning asshole champions — for having a go at her or anyone else like her.

And the fact that he was seeing Nancy Wheeler made him even worse in her eyes.

"Forget how to walk, Richards?"

"Fuck off, Harrington."

With a glare she picks up her bag and purposely hits him on the leg, feeling satisfaction when he lets out a grunt and deadly sneer. Nothing made her feel better. But then she glances up to the door, where Hopper still waited, and it hits her again that something isn't right. Anxiety builds in her stomach as she marches to what felt like her doom, forgetting all about Steve Harrington and his stupid head of hair.

"What's going on?"

The Principal shakes her head with a forced smile. "Not here, Miss Richards."

Elizabeth frowns and follows them to the office, watching as they whisper back and forth to each other. The walk seemed to take hours, and her panic grew with each step she took. As they reach the office, she finds Officer Callahan already sitting in a chair with a notepad poised in his hands. She sits as directed and bounces her leg, her hands gripping onto her seat. "Hop, is my mother — "

"It's not your mother." The Chief interrupts, getting straight to the point. "When was the last time you saw Will Byers?"

His question makes her blink in surprise. It takes her a moment to process it and responds with confusion. "Last night..."

"And where was that?"

"The Wheeler house." Elizabeth slowly answers, still confused. "It was DnD night, I was there with the boys... you know that."

"What boys?" Officer Callahan asks. "Why were you with them?"

"Well, Mike, obviously. It's his house. And uh..." Elizabeth trails off, glancing to Hopper with her brows nearly touching. "Lucas Sinclair, Dustin Henderson and Will. I'm their babysitter."

"When did you leave?"

She shrugs. "Sometime after eight o'clock, I think."

"And that was the last you saw Will?"

"Yeah... I offered him and the boys a ride home but they like to race on their bikes. I left after they did..." Face screwed up, Elizabeth twists her fingers together. "What's this about?"

The two cops share an unreadable look and Hopper sighs. "Listen, kid— "

"Tell me, Hop! I'm their babysitter! I spend more time with them than anyone!" She exclaims, stomping her foot for emphasis. "If something happened to Will then you need to tell me!"

Hopper's mouth twitches irritably, though he slumps with resignation. She always did make it hard to say no. "Will never made it home last night."

His statement shocks her to her very core. Her breathing hitches and her heart plummets into her stomach. Instant dread fills her to the brim, her throat constricting and going dry. This isn't what she expected at all. "W-what?"

"Joyce Byers filed a missing persons report this morning."

Elizabeth opens and closes her mouth, struggling to respond. It was hard to leave her speechless. It was hard to shock her, or make her world go spinning topsy-turvy. She couldn't breathe — _no, no, not Will. Anyone but Will._

She was used to change. She was used to pulling herself up by her bootstraps and moving forward, used to having to grit her teeth and bear whatever trouble might be thrown her way. Trouble should've become her middle name the moment Thomas Richards died, when she realized she was alone in this world, when she started to babysit four eight year old boys who ran wild and set her free.

But this — this threatened to swallow her whole. Hawkins was a lazy town where nothing ever happened, that was how it was supposed to be.

She gave no thought to jumping from her seat like it was made of fire, and tuning out the demands to come back, to _wait — don't do anything stupid!_

Elizabeth _refused_ to accept this change.


	2. love me tender

**ACT I** — **EDGE OF NIGHT**

 **chapter two,** love me tender

**ELIZABETH**

𝙼𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟽𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚁 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴

 **SHE HAD BARELY SLEPT. IT HAD BEEN YEARS SINCE SHE** slept so terribly and so little, and her spine groans with protest when she jolts upright to the sound of a muffled voice coming from the inside of her bag. The couch beneath her creaks as her fingers blindly search for the zipper, a huff pushing from her chest in the process. Her head throbs with an oncoming headache, and her eyes sting from the living room lights still on.

It had been a long night. A long _day_. When the word's left Hopper's lips that Will Byers was missing — Elizabeth had gone straight to the Byers' home with trembling bones. Something inside her was screaming, screaming that she had to ' _Go! Go to them, they need you! You have to do something!'_ It screamed when she saw the bags beneath Jonathan's eyes, and when his mother's arms shook while wrapped around her. The breath was knocked out her lungs when it hit her that it was real... that Will was really missing.

The thing about the Byers was this: they were all she had. Elizabeth didn't have family outside of her mother — none that cared, anyways. But the Byers, the Byers cared. It had been nine years since she met Jonathan in the cafeteria in third grade and stood up against the younger boy's bullies. _"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"_ She'd said, and that was the beginning of it. It was them against the world from that day on — and that was the day she fell in love for the first time, and the day she never fell out of it.

And because of him, she met little Will, and Joyce Byers — Joyce Byers who put the pieces back together when Elizabeth fell apart. Joyce who made sure she ate, or had money, or a place to stay, despite never having enough anyways. Joyce who held her when she cried, and Joyce that made her feel warmth when she was cold.

It hurt to see Joyce cry over her missing son. It hurt to see the bike Hopper had found in the woods, it hurt to see her break as the phone rang and swore " _He was breathing! That was my baby's breathing!_ " It hurt — and it made her feel _guilty_. Guilty because she didn't take Will home last night, because she didn't call and make sure he got home safe. Because the person she loved most was hurting, and it was partially her fault.

She fell asleep on their couch soon after, body and heart tired.

It couldn't have been more than a couple hours when it was her radio that woke her, a frantic voice on the other end begging to answer. Elizabeth blinks away the sleep, pulling up the antenna with a hissing scowl. "You little shits, I am trying to sleep! Do you have any idea what time — "

" _Lizzy_!" A voice, Mike she thinks, urgently cuts her off. " _We need you right now, at my house! It's an emergency! Code Red! I repeat — Code Red! Do you copy?"_

 _Code Red_. They never called Code Red, not unless it was of the utmost importance — a real emergency. The sleep melts away and Elizabeth swings her legs off the couch to search for her keys. "Copy that, be there in ten. Over and out."

She scribbles a small note to Jonathan that she'll see him tomorrow, bright and early, and slips on her dirty white high-top shoes. Shrugging on her jacket, Elizabeth quietly creeps out of the house and to the _Honda_ , where the rain poured and thunder rumbled in the distance. It was a short drive to the Wheeler's, and was soon sneaking to the backdoor near the basement, clothes and hair getting soaked from the rain. Rapping on it three times, a small face opens it and ushers her inside. "Thank god you're here!" Lucas says irritably, dragging her by the hand to where the others crowded around the couch. "Now you can tell Mike he's being stupid."

"Why would I— " Elizabeth drops her keys, jaw hitting the floor at the sight before her. Mike was sitting next to a little girl. A little girl with a shaved head, and wearing clothes that looked suspiciously like his own. She stares for ten seconds before finally gathering herself, though her voice came out as a breathless whisper. "What... the hell is this?"

"We're not really sure." Dustin answers for them. "We found her out in Mirkwood."

"Mirkwood? What were you doing out there?" But she doesn't need them to answer, the looks on their faces telling all. And besides, that was where Will's bike had been found, and she wasn't stupid. Pursing her lips, she crosses her arms with a pointed glare. "You _dipshits_."

Dustin blushes. "We were just trying to look for Will!"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?" She redundantly asks. She knew there was no use, but lectured them anyway. "Going out there alone, and without me? You could've gone missing too, assholes! I'd have to find you and kill you if you had — "

"But we didn't, so it's fine — "

"Oh, it's fine —"

"Guys! This is so not important right now!" Mike interrupts their squabbling with slight annoyance. "We called you here for a reason, remember? Code Red!"

"Right, well, I thought it was a serious emergency." Elizabeth grumbles, turning back to the little girl who watched her carefully from her spot next to him. "I assume it's about her. Where'd she come from, anyways?"

"We don't know! Just found her out in the pouring rain wearing one of those Benny's tee-shirts!" Mike exclaims. Thunder cracks followed by a flash of lightning, making the little girl flinch. Elizabeth felt her heart tug and knew then she was screwed.

Dustin adds, "Yeah, and she totally doesn't even talk — "

"Which is weird, by the way, what kind of person doesn't talk?" Lucas scoffs.

"And she tried to change right in front of us — "

"Can you both shut up?" Elizabeth never took her eyes off the little girl, watching as she shrinks away from the back and forth talking. Elizabeth sends a glare to them and takes a hesitant step forward. The girl flinches again, and she back tracks. "Hi, um, I'm Liz. What's your name, sweetie?"

She doesn't answer.

"W-where do you come from? Do you have a number I can call, like your parents?" Again, no answer. The silence was making Elizabeth nervous, and the way the girl shivered with fear made her bones feel heavy. "Did... did someone hurt you?"

Silence.

"We told you! We don't think she speaks!"

"Shut _up_!" Elizabeth says through clenched teeth. She runs a shaking hand through her now damp hair. She was at a loss for words, and didn't have the answer to a question she didn't know she was asking. After debating on trying to get the girl to talk, she gives up with a sigh and instead turns to Mike. "We should tell your mom."

His face hardens. "But that's why we called you!"

Elizabeth laughs, borderline hysterically. "Me? What the hell do you think I can do? We need an adult... an adultier adult. I don't know what to do!"

The others agree, and Mike groans. "No, don't you get it? If I tell my mom, then she'll tell your moms!" He says, pointing to Dustin and Lucas. "And they'll know we were out looking for Will even though we weren't supposed to be out tonight!"

Dustin pales. "Oh man..."

"Our houses will become Alcatraz." Lucas shivers.

"Exactly! And then we'll never find Will!"

"What? No, hold on!" Elizabeth butts in, waving her hands around wildly to get their attention. "Look for Will? And what about her, we have to tell someone! You're getting in way over your heads!"

Like she had any room to talk. And then it happens... what always does when they want to do something she's unsure of. The three of them put on their best puppy dog faces, pouting and seemingly innocent. It was her one true weakness... a weakness they often exploited. She supposed it was Karma — Jim Hopper couldn't tell her no, and in return she couldn't say no to those boys.

They always dragged her into one scheme or another, and she was powerless to stop it. If she were completely honest, she didn't understand why their parents let her keep babysitting them, with all the trouble they get into.

When Dustin starts to bat his eyes, bottom lip jutted out and trembling, she gives in with a groan — and the little shits have the audacity to grin like a gang of cats that caught the canary. She grumbles to herself before throwing her hands up saying uncle. "Fine! Fine! What's your plan then, Frodo Baggins?" She asks Mike, poking him in the shoulder for emphasis.

Mike sighs with relief. "She sleeps here tonight — "

Appalled, Dustin gapes. "You're gonna let a _girl_ — "

"Hey! _I'm_ a girl!"

"But you're a _cool_ girl."

"Just shut up and listen!" Mike once more interrupts them, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air. "In the morning, she can sneak out of my house, go to the front door and ring my doorbell. My mom will answer and know what to do!"

Elizabeth slowly nods, impressed with his idea. "That's... totally not a bad plan, actually."

He smiles. "She'll send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she comes from, and we'll be in the clear!"

"Great — "

"And tomorrow night, we go back out, and we find Will."

"Uh, excuse me?" Elizabeth squeaks, sputtering and trying to cut the head off the snake before it could grow. "Absolutely not! It's not safe, and I am pretty sure Hopper would be pissed — "

"Screw Hopper! A member of the Party is in jeopardy, and it's our job to provide assistance!" Mike insists passionately.

Lucas nods along with him fiercely. "Yeah. You know the rules.. number three states that no man is left behind."

She was distressed. They had her on that, rules were rules. Her eye twitches and her lips pucker sourly, a huff of air escaping through her nose. There it was again, that weak spot — the urge to give in and go along with their half-brained scheme. "Jesus christ." She mumbles lowly before letting out a frustrated sigh. "Fine then! But I will be going with you, got it? Someone has to keep you little shits safe, and I'd rather not have anyone else go missing."

The three of them grumble but agree, and Elizabeth gathers the hair stuck to her neck and forehead, tying it into a ponytail while talking to two of them specifically. "Get your stuff, I'm taking you assholes home."

They groan and Elizabeth spares another look at the little girl who still looked so afraid. Pity and a protective instinct like no other wells upside her, and Elizabeth makes a hasty escape up the stairs and back outside before she could do anything stupid... like wrap the girl in her arms and hide her away. The boys follow behind her, muttering about psychos and crazies as the rain still spilled down on them. Lucas takes shot-gun in the _Honda_ while Dustin sulks to the backseat, and she smiles.

But it washes away when she realizes just how screwed she really was. They were gonna get her in trouble some day, she knew, and that day was coming sooner than she expected.

Elizabeth bangs her head on the steering wheel with a swear. "Ah, _shit_."  
  
  
  


**. . .**  
  
  
  


𝚃𝚄𝙴𝚂𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟾𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝙷𝙰𝚆𝙺𝙸𝙽𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻

 **JONATHAN BYERS HAD NEVER LOOKED SO TERRIBLE.** Her heart clenches when she lays eyes on him, her heart going _thump thump, thump thump_. His eyes were heavy with bags, the skin of his cheeks pale and slightly green. In his hands was a stack of missing person posters, each one bearing a black and white picture of Will smiling sweetly at the camera. Elizabeth swallows as she meets him at his car outside of school, wishing for her beating pulse to slow to a normal pace. She wanted to reach out and hold him, wanted to tell him everything would be okay — she wanted to believe it would be.

She was tired. After taking the boys home the night before, Elizabeth had gone back to the trailer park. It was, in itself, a mistake she wished she could take back. She wished she could press rewind, though she'd go back too many years if she could. If her life was a VHS, she'd force the tape back to the very beginning credits, if she could. But she couldn't, and she was paying the price for it.

_It was storming now. Thunder and lightning lit up the sky as it flooded the earth with rain, making the muddy ground rumble as she stepped out of her car. Inside, another storm was brewing — a storm made of empty bottles and broken glass. It was late in the night now, the trailer park's outside lights dimming into nothing. Inside, the sound of crashing limbs made her feel like crawling into bed and never leaving._

_Elizabeth shook as she handled her keys, feet heavy like bricks as she forced herself up the stairs of the front porch. Another crash, and another strike of lightning, and the door swings open. Her mother stumbles around the kitchen, a record player on full blast and playing her dad's favorite song — the one they danced to underneath a starry sky. A glass full of amber liquid slips from Michelle's hands and falls into pieces on the cheap linoleum floor._

_With a sigh, Elizabeth throws her keys on the table, shrugging off her jacket that dripped rain water and turned a darker shade of blue. Her shoes squelched as she stepped forward with her arms braced out to catch Michelle. "C'mon, let's go to bed."_

_"N-no." She slurs, reaching to the cabinets for another glass. She could barely hear her over the loud music... over Elvis Presley singing about love and romance and promises. "No, I-I don' want to."_

_Elizabeth's chest twinges. "Mom please, you've had enough... it's been a long day."_

" _No." She lurches forward to grab Michelle's hands, reaching for the bottle of whiskey clutched between her fingers. They fight for dominance, playing tug of war with the glass and neither being able to win. She tries desperately to wrestle it away, both stumbling before it too goes crashing down, shattering over her dirty white shoes with grass stains. Michelle staggers in surprise and sends her a nasty glare. "Why di'you do that?!"_

_A hand reaches up, and a plate smashes against a wall. Another to the floor, the counter, and all the places in between. Elizabeth braces her hands over her face as one comes hurling towards her, screaming for it to "Stop, stop, please just stop!" Michelle screams right back, unintelligible and unhinged. Again, she rushes forward, this time grabbing her mother by both of her wrists and holding on tightly — she took all the spit and venom until the storm seemed to pass and the broken glass on the floor no longer crunched beneath their toes._

_Michelle's face was blank as she stepped back and out of the door, muttering under her breath about useless girls and needing a drink. Elizabeth watches her go with her chest heaving, and eyes stinging, still listening to Elvis and his stupid love songs._

_"Love me tender, love me sweet — "_

_With a shout, a lamp smashes against the door as her mother closes it behind her._

Her head pounds as she carries the stack of posters, sluggishly following Jonathan on auto-pilot. Elizabeth didn't sleep at all after the fight with her mother, sitting on the couch until the early hours of dawn — waiting for her to come back. She didn't. Her lack of sleep could also be credited to the little girl sitting in Mike's basement — she was haunting Elizabeth's thoughts.

And now she followed faithfully after her friend despite her body's protests and wishes for a two day nap. She said she would, anyways. She said she would do anything, anything to help. Her fingers held tightly onto the white paper as each one was pinned somewhere — on classroom doors and bulletin boards, in the office and outside on every car hood or post they could find. Will Byers' face was everywhere she turned — and it made more and more guilt churn her stomach the longer she looked.

_She should've given him a ride home._

It was hard to look Jonathan in the eye. Hard to look at her best friend and say _I'm sorry, I left him alone, I'm sorry._ She bites down hard on the inside of her cheek as he puts up the last of them, running a gently shaking finger down the young boy's face. Bile rises in her throat that she desperately tries to push down, resting her head on the wall and closing her eyes. The headache was growing stronger and stronger, feeling like a drum beating harshly against her skull. It was hard not to feel this way most days — like the weight of simply being a thousand rocks crushing her windpipe and bringing her to her knees. But now... now Will was missing and those knees were bruising on rough gravel, the sky resting on her shoulders like Atlas.

Opening her eyes, she meets the warm brown belonging to her best friend. They'd always been so warm to her, so sweet and shy. She loved his eyes. She loved _him_. Her heart crawls into her throat at the sadness in them, a fear she'd never seen, an exhausted to end all exhaustion. A dainty hand with years of old scarring rests on his shoulder. She couldn't stand to see him this way. "We'll find him, I know we will."

"How can you be so sure?" He asks quietly.

"I'm not." She honestly shrugs. "I just have to believe we will or I'll go insane."

He nods and her palm runs down his arm to take his hand, squeezing it twice — once for him and once for herself. Elizabeth had always liked physical comfort best; she liked hugs and hand holding, for someone to be gentle and warm. It was what she wanted more than anything, how she operated. She squeezes his hand once more, though tenses when the back of her neck starts to tingle, the hair there sticking up straight at the feeling of someone watching her. Turning her head slightly, Elizabeth scowls at a group not far from them — some with curious worry and others with wicked grins.

"Oh God." She groans, releasing his hand to tuck her own under her arms with insecurity — a defense she had against things that sorta hurt. "Wheeler is coming this way."

His face lights up before it quickly goes blank, and a small twinge of _ow, ow it hurts_ makes her pulse momentarily stop all together. Nancy looked like a shy doe as she came towards them, in her pretty skirt and curly hair neatly pinned back to show off sparkling blue eyes that peered at them through thick eyelashes. There's that twinge again, and Elizabeth clenches her jaw as Nancy gives them both a timid smile. "Hey."

Jonathan awkwardly clears his throat. "Oh uh... hey."

"I just wanted to say, you know, that I'm sorry about everything." She says to him. "Everyone is thinking about you... it really sucks."

Elizabeth turns away with a scoff stuck in her throat. Her eyes roll as she looks elsewhere, tuning them out and ignoring the mean little voice in her head — the one that said " _Oh, the Golden Girl is sorry? I'm sure it really does suck"_ and the one that says scathingly " _Silly girl, you'll never be like Nancy."_

Her teeth nearly crack from how tightly she grinds them together in an attempt to ignore the voice in her head, and the sweet one of Nancy Wheeler. Instead, Elizabeth's gaze flicks down the hallway to where Steve Harrington and his Goon Squad stood watching them with amusement. Barbara Holland, a nice girl she'd only ever talked to once or twice, was there too, and hers was the only face with any sympathy or genuine kindness. She makes eye contact with Steve, and he smirks, and she throws up the middle finger in return. He scoffs, shoving Tommy off with something that sounds like " _Dude, I don't care!"_

Elizabeth tunes back in just in time for the bell to ring, and to hear the two juniors bid each other goodbye. Jonathan watches Nancy leave, and his eyes were saddened by something _else_ , and it makes her feel _sick_. She knew, of course, she'd always known. But it was a reality she had no desire to take part in. Clearing her throat with a cough, she turns to him with a strained smile. "Are um, are you still planning on going to Lonnie's today?"

Jonathan's face darkens, and the mood turns sour. Lonnie was his dad, a dead-beat. He left a few years ago, and his visits were far and few inbetween. And he was an asshole, a raging, alcoholic asshole. Elizabeth always thought he'd get along _swimmingly_ with her mom. "Yeah, Liz, I've got to." He runs a tired hand through his hair with a scowl. Though she didn't think so, the police were guessing that Lonnie had taken Will. Jonathan was taking the matter into his own hands. With an angry huff, he clenches his fists. "I swear to god, if that asshole has him —"

"Hey, hey, calm down. Lonnie doesn't have the balls or the brains to even _try_ taking him. And... if he did, if he took Will... he's a deadman. I'll kill him myself." Elizabeth grips his arm, deadly serious with her promise. "Do you want me to come with you?"

He shakes his head vigorously. "No, _hell no_. You know how he gets." And she did know how Lonnie ticked, his... preference for younger women, his sleazy tendencies. "And besides, you shouldn't miss another day of work."

She did miss her shift the day before, opting to spend it with the distraught Byers. But she didn't care, because she'd rather be there for them anyways. "I don't mind— "

" _Please_. Don't put yourself in a bad position on my account, Liz. You need the money."

 _I'd do anything for you_. She wants to tell him. _Tell me to jump, I'll ask how high_. But she doesn't. Instead, Elizabeth pulls him into a tight embrace, resting her chin on his shoulder and closing her eyes even tighter. He'd always understood her better than anyone, because he knew what it was like to live the way she did, to feel the way she did. And he'd always looked out for her, just like she did him. It was why they worked so well, why they had been best friends for so long — _them against the world._

"Alright." She sighs. "But let me know how it goes, yeah? I'll be by later tonight after my shift."

Jonathan pulls away with a smile, a real one, though it contrasted terribly with the dark circles under his eyes and the lines making him look far too old. It shoots a jolt straight through her, making butterflies dance in her stomach. He had the best smile.

" _Attention faculty and students. At eight pm tonight, there will be an assembly on the football field in support of Will Byers and his family. All are encouraged to attend. Volunteer sign-ups for search parties are available in the office."_

She jumps at the announcement over the school intercom, a hand flying up to her chest as she gulps down all of her feelings. Taking in his flighty desire to leave, Elizabeth hastily pecks him on the cheek and gives his fingers a last tug for good measure. "Go, I'll talk to you later."

And with that, Jonathan stalks away to leave, the doors swinging behind him with a finality Elizabeth didn't understand in that moment. He takes her heart with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! i sort of forgot i posted this here, im ngl AKDJHKADFJF anyways, i'll be posting regularly starting now!! if anyone would like to read ahead, you can find 15 chapters of blinding lights already published on my wattpad account, @pottahs !!! thanks for reading!!!


	3. the freak show

**ACT I** — **EDGE OF NIGHT**

 **chapter three,** the freakshow

**ELIZABETH**

𝚃𝚄𝙴𝚂𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟾𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚁 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴

 **THE THING ABOUT BEING A BABYSITTER WAS THAT** Elizabeth was always at their beck and call. If the boys needed her, she would always come — no matter what. It was her job to be there, even if it seemed totally pointless or annoying. There were times they called on her for silly things, like a new comic book or because they were bored. But other times, it was real, it was an emergency, and she'd get into her _Honda_ and haul ass to wherever they might be — _no matter what._

It shouldn't have surprised her that someone would blow up her radio until she answered. She'd been at work — work being Melvald's, a job she only got thanks to Joyce — when it happened. Luckily, her co-worker Phil had been there to cover the rest of her shift, and Elizabeth drove to Mike's house with a white-knuckled grip. She had a feeling it was something to do with the girl they found, the same girl who'd been on her mind all day and night. Her gut said something went wrong and she was about to be real mad.

_Her gut was never wrong._

The door she knocks on swings open abruptly, nearly catching her off-guard and startling Elizabeth half to death. Mike sighs in apparent relief at her arrival, beckoning her inside his house quickly and slamming the door shut behind them. Quirking an eyebrow, she appraises him suspiciously. "Alright there, Mikey?"

"We thought you weren't coming! Took you long enough."

"I always do. And some of us do work, y'know."

He leads her to the kitchen where the others still sit at the table eating with his family. There was Nancy, to which she refrains from rolling her eyes, and the youngest of the bunch called Holly. Mr. Wheeler pays her no mind while the Missus gives Elizabeth a warm and welcoming smile. "Well, hello Liz! I didn't know you'd be stopping by."

Karen had always been so nice. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Wheeler. It was a last minute thing."

Mike's mom nods with cheerful understanding. "Oh, I know how they can be." She jokes, referring to her son and his friends. "It's no problem at all, we love having you around. Would you care to join us for dinner? There's still some meatloaf — "

"Could she just take a plate downstairs?" Mike suddenly butts in anxiously.

Karen blinks. "Well, I suppose..."

Mike had stopped even paying attention, already filling a plate to the point of overflow with food and dragging her to the basement with Lucas and Dustin trailing behind. She casually marches down the stairs like she lived there — though she supposed she did part time — but stops dead at what meets her. It was the girl. Sitting in a blanket fort. Wide-eyed and fearful of Elizabeth's sudden appearance. Mike crouches in front of her kindly, setting the food down and smiling the same way his mother always did for guests. "Hey, no adults here. Just us and some meatloaf."

"Uh," Dustin makes a face as if to say _duh_. "Liz is practically an adult."

Lucas snorts. "She doesn't count."

"Hey!" Elizabeth squawks, resisting the urge to whack them over the head one by one, starting with Mike. She sends him a glare worthy of making a grown man cry. "What the _hell_ , Mike?! What happened, why is she still here?!"

"I'm sorry, it's not what it looks like!" His face says that it was _exactly what it looked like_. Her own said he needed to start talking before he found himself begging for mercy. "So, listen, this is El. Short for Eleven, and she says she's in danger and on the run!"

Elizabeth gulps. "On the run? From who? And why is her name Eleven — "

"Bad men! We can't give her up! Look!" Mike gestures for the girl — _Eleven —_ to lift up the sleeve of her borrowed sweater. She flinches away, though he patiently and softly urges her otherwise. "It's okay. Lizzy is the babysitter, she's different than other adults. She won't hurt you."

She looks to Elizabeth and seemingly studies her before slowly sticking out her arm. With caution, the older girl kneels beside Mike and watches as El rolls the sleeve back to reveal three numbers: Zero-One-One. _Eleven_. Elizabeth's stomach flip-flops nastily, her instincts raging — itching to find _who did this to a little girl._ Her finger-tips nervously hesitate before taking the tattooed wrist and gently examines the black ink there. She looks at the girl with a carefully blank face. "Bad men did this to you?" Eleven nods. "And now they're looking for you?"

Another nod, and Elizabeth retracts her hand to drag it up and down her face tiredly. She sighs, standing up to pace and muttering to herself. "Shit. Oh God, I'm so _fucked_."

"And she knows about Will!" Mike exclaims, causing her to whip towards him and make herself dizzy. "We think the same bad men after her took him, too!"

Elizabeth's face pales. "W-What — "

Bouncing on his tip-toes, Dustin's grins with his eyes shining brightly. "Tell her the other part." He says, eyeing Eleven with nothing but admiration. "Tell her or I will."

"Tell me what?"

"El has _superpowers_."

She blinks three times in rapid succession. "I'm sorry, she has what?"

"Like, telekinesis or some shit."

Finally catching on, Elizabeth rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. They'd always had a habit of embellishing stories and making them elaborate. "No way."

Ignoring them as they once more began to bicker, she resumed her pacing while furiously biting at her already chipped nail paint and she began to go over the facts she knew for sure. One: The boys found Eleven the same night Will was declared missing. Two: El was terrified of whatever was after her, and didn't trust adults with her secrets, and Elizabeth didn't want to break her fragile trust. Three: Elizabeth didn't have a clue on what to do about it. Four: _She had to find Will._

" — And they never break a promise." Mike's voice catches her attention, and she turns to find the boys crowded around Eleven with soft and friendly faces.

Lucas grins next. "Especially when there's spit."

"S-Spit?" El asks, and Elizabeth jolts. It was the first time she'd heard the younger girl speak, and the smallness in her voice melts any remaining doubt she might've had. But then she registers what Lucas had said, and understands immediately what he was referring to.

Boys were _disgusting_. "Oh God, don't — "

"A spit swear is," Lucas spits on his hand and clasps it with Dustin's, "You never break your word. It's a bond."

"That's super important, because friends tell each other things. Things that parents and adults don't know. Except for Lizzy — "

"Speaking of Lizzy!" The girl herself was in borderline hysteria again, finally having had enough and wanting real answers. "Care to explain to Lizzy what's going on!"

"We already told you, the bad men — "

"No!" Exasperated, she throws her hands in the air. "I mean these supposed superpowers, dipshit! Because this sounds like a fucking prank to me — "

Elizabeth doesn't get much farther when a lego _Millennium Falcon_ comes flying towards her head, causing the girl to let yelp in surprise. "Holy shit!"

Dustin's smile makes her eye twitch. _Smug little bastard_. "Told you."

"Oh my God!" Elizabeth cries out, and she turns to El with a huge smile. The girl blushes and the toy drops to the floor at her feet. "You have Jean Grey living in your basement!"  
  
  
  


. . .  
  
  
  


𝚆𝙴𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝙳𝙰𝚈  
𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟿𝚃𝙷, 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟹  
𝙷𝙰𝚆𝙺𝙸𝙽𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻

 **THEY HAD A PLAN. IT WAS A SHODDY AND NOT AT ALL** foolproof sort of plan, but a plan nonetheless. And besides, it would never matter what Elizabeth would say, because the boys would do anything they wanted anyways. At least she'd be able to keep them safe and out of harm's way.

It seemed as though hard nights were in her immediate future. In fact, she hadn't been to sleep at all — too wired with thoughts swarming her mind full of Eleven and Will, and everything that has suddenly gone wrong. An uneasy feeling was settling in her gut, like a warning, but for what she didn't know.

The unease grew when she finally rose from her bed with heavy eyes and turned on the news to find that Benny Hammond, the owner of a burger place she and Hopper frequented, had died. Elizabeth nursed a cup of coffee feeling troubled when it was reported that he'd died by his own hand — a _suicide_. She couldn't even remember a time when Benny showed he was down such a dark path, but supposed it was easy to hide from prying eyes.

_It was easy for her, too._

The rest of her morning had been spent going through her dad's old things to aid her during her mission today. After school, she'd be meeting the boys at the entrance to Mirkwood with her bike to search for Will and knew she'd need supplies. Elizabeth takes an old swiss-army knife and compass from the box labeled _DAD_ before stuffing it into the back of her closet and out of reach. She also packs a water bottle, a flashlight, and a change of batteries just in case. Her hands shook as she zips her backpack closed, Thomas' things safely inside.

And now she found herself at school, wishing she never came in the first place. Her thoughts were still firmly elsewhere as she sat in her study period. Jonathan had told her that Joyce was slowly falling off the edge, talking to lights in the house and saying it was Will trying to communicate. She was worried for all of them... including herself. Her anxiety built a brick house around her as hours passed and she could do nothing about it — do nothing to help find Will, or to ease Joyce's pain, or make Jonathan smile again. Or to help the little girl hidden in Mike's basement, all alone. She knew too well what that was like. She wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Elizabeth used to love school. Her dad always said she was smart, so smart and clever. She could read earlier than her peers, and she was good with numbers and facts. Her grades were above average, a long time ago. Once, her heart held a love for learning, for science and math and making something of herself. But life got in the way — responsibility and pain — and suddenly that love disappeared.

And anyways, no one could dream of focusing on their work with Tommy H. and Carol two seats behind. She hated having them there, knowing of their smiles and mockery directed at her back. The giggling was nails on a chalkboard on any day, and a day like today made it seem louder, harsher. They had jokes, they always did — _Lizzy was Loose, Lizzy loved the Freak, Lizzy's just like Mommy_. But now... now it was worse. She didn't think it could be, and her eyes stung from the way she pinched her skin in an attempt to ignore it.

A waded piece of paper hits the back of her head, snickers following after. Elizabeth sticks her head farther into her Calculus textbook, leaning forward on her desk as if to mold into it. " _Psst_!" They say. "C'mon Loosey, we just wanna talk."

Her heart began to pound. "I think she's ignoring us, Carol."

The pinches hurt. "Probably thinking about her Freak boyfriend."

 _Focus. Focus, Liz. They don't mean anything to you, it doesn't matter_. "You think she's loose for him, too?"

 _Ignore it, it'll go away_. "You know she is."

 _Please_ — "Think she helped him kill the little shit?"

The pencil in her hand snaps. The blood rushes to her ears in a dull roar, neck popping from the sudden wave of angry heat crawling up her spine. It was so hot it made her shiver, knuckles cracking as she stood abruptly. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or her already sour mood, or it was the way they said _Will was dead and she helped make it happen_. No, he couldn't be. He couldn't be, because then it was true, _because she didn't take him home. It would be her fault_. Her textbook tumbles to the floor, homework and loose-leaf papers following the leader. She thought she'd explode as she turns on them with heavy breathing. "Shut the _hell_ up or I swear — "

"Or... what?" Tommy asks in amusement. "You gonna kill us, too?"

Carol does that giggle she couldn't stand and Elizabeth briefly thinks that Hopper was gonna be really pissed to bail her out of jail until a surprising and slightly annoyed voice cuts her off. "Come on, guys, knock it off." It says, and she looks to Steve with narrowed eyes. Who asked him to say anything? Who asked him to _stick up for her_? Another flare of heat makes her face turn red with hate — _he was so fucking fake._ He didn't care, he never cared. It was just to impress sweet little _Nancy_. He was bullshit, they were all bullshit. She stares, and he stares back, and Elizabeth shakes her head with a disbelieving scoff.

_It was bullshit._

She knew she'd get in trouble for leaving in the middle of a class, even if it was just a study hall. But she didn't care, because she wanted out — she needed air. In her car, she chain smokes while fuming, letting the nicotine soothe her anger and dull the mess of emotion she'd suddenly become. Tommy had gotten under skin. It bothered her that anyone thought that Jonathan, her gentle Jonathan, could hurt his little brother... that _she_ could. It made her feel so sick, and so tired, that she fell asleep right there with a half-lit cigarette dangling from her fingers. She slept better in the _Honda_ , anyways.

Elizabeth didn't know what woke her up, but it was sudden and the time on her watch said she'd only been asleep an hour. The sun shining into her car makes her flinch, dropping the dead smoke back into it's pack with a sigh. Movement catches her eye across the parking lot, and she squints to find Steve and Tommy tossing Jonathan's bag back and forth, out of his reach. The nap she took did no help in relieving whatever anger she had, because it comes back with a fiery vengeance as she scrambles out of her car and stomps towards them.

" — Must really have something to hide." She catches Steve saying, and her nostrils flare.

"Hey, asshole!" Elizabeth yells, a fist forming around her fingers subconsciously. "What the _fuck_ man, why can't you just leave us alone — "

"There she is!" Tommy wickedly exclaims with an ear-to-ear grin. "'Bout time you showed up, we'd been wondering where you went!"

"Where one Freak goes, another follows." Carol snickers, and Elizabeth notices another girl named Nicole quirk an eyebrow.

Elizabeth frowns but ignores it, grabbing Jonathan's hand to tug him away. "Just leave us alone." She demands furiously, not noticing the way her friend turns whiter and whiter. "Come on, Jon, let's just go — "

"Oh, I don't think so." Steve steps in front of them and empties the contents of Jonathan's bag onto the concrete ground. He takes a stack of pictures and flips through them, an anger to rival her own making his mouth twitch. "Oh, _man_."

Confusion slowly replaces her annoyance as he passes the pictures to his goons, each of them scrunching with disgust, calling Jonathan a _creep, a stalker_. And when he panics, when Jonathan says, "I was just looking for my brother!" The unease she'd been feeling all day makes another appearance, making her choke and sputter.

"Jon, what are they talking about — "

"No." Steve shakes his head, glaring at them and making her gulp. "No, this is called _stalking_."

Frustrated and fed up, Elizabeth yanks the stack of pictures from his grap and falters. The breath in her lungs ceases to exist, and her skin prickles with a cold draft she'd never thought could come from Jonathan Byers. The unease finally explodes and tears prick the corners of her eyes, the bones connecting her fingers making the pictures wobble and shake. They were black and white stills of a scene she never wanted to see, never wanted to _know he would want to see_. There she was, the Golden Girl, in just a bra — kissing the equally Golden Boy. Why did he take these pictures?

"You've posed for him like that too?"

"I bet she has. A show for the Freakshow."

Her lips open and close with a quiver, trying desperately to form words — to say anything. To defend herself, to damn them to hell, to ask _why, why, why_? Her insides lurch when Nancy comes to them with those doe eyes that suddenly looked so innocent on her, and when the pictures are taken from her hands. Bile was rising, rising higher and higher up her throat when Nancy's face goes pale, when the smile slides off her pretty face, when betrayal flashes in blue eyes. And Elizabeth feels more guilt — _she was full to the brim with so much guilt —_ because it was terrible... it was so awful and Nancy Wheeler didn't deserve any of it. Not at the hands of the person she had on such a high pedestal, that she loved so much.

 _Why_?

She could only watch as Steve rips the pictures up and lets them go to the wind. She couldn't move, or breathe, or mutter a word. And Elizabeth hates herself for that too, because it made her vunerable, and she hates being vulnerable. "What's the matter?" Someone mocks her. "Nothing to say?"

Elizabeth stutters over her words, unable to force anything out. Steve sends her a hard look and scoffs, and he'd never looked so mean before. "Of course she doesn't. Probably gets off on it too, just like the Freakshow. Huh, Loosey Lizzy?"

For a reason she couldn't place, his words finally open the floodgates and tears fall steadily down her cheeks. She doesn't know why it hurts so bad. Why it stung in a way nothing he'd ever said before stung. Steve Harrington was an _asshole_ , and she's _never been able to figure out why he hated her so much._

"J-Just leave her alone." Jonathan shakily defends, but she didn't want him to. "She didn't — "

"Right, right." Steve nods with a faux apology. "Of course not. But you did. We'll just have to take away your toy."

Catching on to his insinuation, Jonathan rushes forward in desperation. "Please, not the camera." Tommy moves to push him away when Steve smiles with the camera in hand.

"Wait, wait, wait, Tommy. It's okay. Here you go, man." But before Jonathan could snatch the camera away, Steve lets it drop to the ground, and it shatters. Tommy laughs and Steve shakes his head with disgust, sending one more glance to Elizabeth before turning away. "Come on, the game's about to start."

With disbelief, Elizabeth watches as they walk away, ripping up the rest of the pictures and laughing as they went. Jonathan falls to the ground to pick up his broken camera, and she watches as Nancy bends down to take a torn picture before Steve calls her away, sending them one last glance. Slowly, she falls to her knees to help, avoiding the pictures as if they were the plague. Clenching her jaw and blinking back the tears, Elizabeth breathes in sharply. "What the hell Jonathan?"

He looks away ashamed. "I know — "

"This is..." she trails off at a loss for words. She looks up and shakes her head, sniffing as the tears just kept falling and she couldn't stop them. "This is fucked up."

"I know."

As the last pieces are picked up, she stands and avoids his eyes, biting down on her lip and making it split open. "I have to go... I'll- I'll see you later."

Jonathan goes white, reaching out to grip her hand. She always liked when he reached for her, when he showed that he wanted her there, with him. It made her feel so warm and fuzzy. But now, she just felt cold. "Liz — "

She shrugs him off for the first time ever and walks away, leaving him with nothing but his broken camera.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i originally posted this on my wattpad account, @pottahs and thought i'd give it a go here! i'm not entirely sure what i'm doing or how this works but,,,, here i am!! thanks for reading!


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